So since seeing that Isha posted an update and list of summer plans, I thought I would do the same. Right now, I am currently smack dab in the middle of finals week of my second semester in the Kelley MBA program. I have heard from a lot of people (the program chair included) that this is quite possibly the hardest semester of the program. I’ve taken a total of 4 classes, 7.5 credit hours. And keep in mind that 8 credit hours is considered full-time if you’re in grad school, so I’ve basically been working full-time while also going to school almost full-time. This is also one big part of the reason I am not on Twitter or Facebook right now. They both just became a big distraction while trying to make it through these last few weeks. I’ll likely be back this weekend, once finals are over.

I am SO looking forward to this summer. I made it through my biggest final yesterday (Finance) and am hoping I managed to do better on it than I did on the midterm. I have one more final left to take online tomorrow and then I am home free! …for a week. Summer classes start next Thursday. However, I’m looking forward to starting fresh and being basically done with finance/accounting/money/math classes. They have been killer, and I even came close to quitting earlier this semester, but I managed to stick it out. My summer classes are Business Law, which meets on Thursdays, and IT for Managers, which is online and only 1.5 credit hours. And I will be done with the IT class on June 23, and then done with the Law class on July 8 – which means over a month of no classes! Definitely excited about that. So – that being said, summer should be pretty good. Here’s what I’ve got going on this summer so far…

May
6th – Macroecon final (last one!)
9th – Mother’s Day – special lunch with my mom
13th – Summer classes start
14th – Swing dancing double date with Ricky, Ian, and Heather (Ricky’s first swing dancing experience!)
15th – Special surprise planned for my sweetie – we get to dress up!
22nd – Nickelback concert at Verizon
23rd – LOST finale party at our new apt

June
23rd – End of IT class

July
4th – Spending the weekend with Ricky at Forest Dunes
8th – End of Business Law class
19th – Sophie’s “birthday” (2nd anniversary of the day I got her)
22nd – Ricky’s birthday

August
14th – Mom’s birthday
24th – Fall classes start – Marketing, Operations Mgmt

So being the time of year it is, I have noticed more and more people posting on Twitter or Facebook or their blogs what they are thankful for. While there are definitely things/people/etc that I am very thankful for, I think I’m also going to use this opportunity to just be totally honest about what things have been like for me lately. I’ve hinted at it to people, and even expressed it to some, but just for my own form of therapy, I thought I would explain it a bit.

Everyone knows that my dad passed away in March of this year, and if you read my blog or keep up with me regularly, you know a lot of the other things that have happened in my life this year. Shortly before my dad passed away, I had decided to go back to grad school at the IU Kelley School of Business to get my MBA. Following that decision came a long process that included studying for the GMAT, getting letters of recommendation, writing an essay, and taking prerequisite classes, among other things. I continued this process after my dad died because, well, it was a decision I made and something that I wanted for myself, so there was really no question about following through with it.

So I submitted everything, took the GMAT and got a good score, took my prereq, and got into the program. School started in August, and I have been on the journey since then. It has honestly been an up and down road the last few months. First of all, grad school is hard. Maybe not for everyone, but for me it is pretty hard at times. If the work isn’t hard, keeping up with all of the work is. I have struggled at times to easily understand the topics we have studied so far. I have had no real business training other than on the job from being in a professional IT (information technology) environment. Things like accounting (other than the short course I had in high school) and economics (other than what I remember from college stats classes) are pretty foreign to me. And a lot of the time, well, I’ve felt pretty dumb. And some days, this feeling carries over into work too, when I’m facing some new task that involves code that I’m unfamiliar with or functionality that I don’t know how to tackle.  This all leads to a lot of feelings of not being good enough, whether it is with work, school, relationships, or other areas of my life.

Now – combine those feelings with the fact that along with the death of my dad and the stress of work and school, I tend to be a stress eater. Sweets are my drug of choice a lot of times when it comes to looking for a pick-me-up. This has led to gaining a few extra pounds that I really don’t want. So of course that doesn’t help with those self-worth issues any.

Only a few close friends really know how much of a struggle this has been for me. And while advice is great, I honestly already know most of the advice. I know my self-worth, I really do. I know that I’m pretty, that I’m smart, that I will get through school and get my MBA, and that I will even lose those pounds if I really want to. But right now – it’s very hard to get that from my head to my heart. Struggling to feel something emotionally where you just don’t can be a very crippling thing, and a very difficult thing to understand, especially from the viewpoint of those that love and care about the person struggling with this issue. And every little small thing that somehow feeds (or even seems to feed) the lie can feel like a complete emotional attack.

So, here’s my admission. These self-worth issues combined with grief have made close, trusted friends suggest that seeking counseling might not be a bad idea, so I’ve decided to check it out via CAPS (Counseling and Psychological Services) at IUPUI. It’s a minimal fee service that IUPUI offers their students. And I have to admit that having someone to talk to about some of these things, a third party, can’t hurt.

So what does all of this have to do with Thanksgiving and being thankful? Well, as I’ve basically said many times now, it’s been a rough year. I don’t like admitting that, and I don’t like admitting that I need help. But I’m not sure what my year might have looked like without support from friends, for which I’m so grateful. Thank you, Ricky, gRegor, Seren, and Maurice, for being among the ones who know me best and still love me without fail. And thank you to that special volunteer at Outreach who let me know that I’m not alone, that I’m normal, and that grief can take years to overcome. I’m blessed to have so many great people in my life.

I’m also thankful that there have been a lot of wonderful things in my life this year as well. I’ve been able to achieve some pretty lofty goals and that fact makes me know that I can do anything I set my mind to. In addition to getting into grad school and working towards my MBA, I’ve also managed to travel a lot this year and visit some new places (including Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, and San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua) as well as getting the next car I wanted, a 2005 Mini Cooper convertible.  Even though sometimes I can’t really feel it, I know I have accomplished a lot in the midst of a hard year.

I know I’m facing some difficult holidays coming up, but there are things to celebrate this year as well.  And I’ve realized that it’s okay to accept how I feel and to acknowledge that I’m not always capable of living up to expectations, especially my own.  But what I have done and what I am is still perfectly as it should be, even if there’s room for improvement (and there always is).  And there will always be those out there to love me and remind me of that, if I choose to let them.

A blog post about blogging.  Novel idea, right?  I’ve been blogging since – well, according to my Xanga page – October 2001.  Next Tuesday is apparently my 8-year bloggiversary.  Yay me!  So yes, I started blogging on Xanga, and later eventually moved to my own site, which you see before you now.  The look of it has changed some over the years, but I am still here.  Where else would I be?  I’m pretty sure there is no other Sheryl Hugill out there to try to steal this domain name from me…

Besides my own personal blog, I have also been a blogger for other websites as well.  In 2006 and 2007, I was a blogger for a local magazine that used to be called INtake Weekly.  INtake has since become Indy.com (sadly leaving behind their Blog Squad), and now is a part of Metromix.  And now, I’m excited to add another entry to my blog portfolio… you’re looking at the newest “BizBlogger” for the Kelley School of Business at IUPUI!

The Kelley School of Business showcases their newest blog entries on their main page, found at kelley.iupui.edu.  The link to the “BizBlog” itself can be found at bizblog.kelley.iupui.edu or by clicking on “More Entries” from the BizBlog section on the main Kelley page.  Found here are blogs by several different types of people involved with Kelley, including undergraduate students, alumni, advisors, and of course (like me) graduate students.  If you go to the main BizBlog page and click on Graduate Students, you’ll see my name listed there on the left.  No posts yet, but I currently have one waiting for moderation.

I’m very excited to be blogging for the Kelley School of Business.  I know the MBA program will be a challenge, and I’m looking forward to sharing my experience there.  Interestingly enough, my blog here is what got me the job… someone from Kelley contacted me while I was in the process of preparing for the GMAT and applying to the program, after having seen my post here about that process.  She wanted to talk to me to find out about my experience with the application process, and this later led to my invitation to blog for the school.

What a great opportunity, and a great way to celebrate my “bloggiversary”… with a new blogging challenge.

UPDATE: My first blog at Kelley has been posted/moderated now.  I think they have changed around the graduate students blogs, as mine is listed right now under “Evening MBA Experience”.  Here’s a link to my first post.