My life, and my thoughts on everything (almost)

So I'm really not sure if this will be more like an "update" type of blog or a "deep insight" type of blog. I do feel like my readers deserve one or the other, since you've all been putting up with the "song lyrics/poems" type of blog a lot recently. But maybe it will end up being a combination of the two.

Is it bad that, after being a Christian (even though I hate the connotations that usually come with that, I still call myself one) for so long, I still sometimes find myself wondering if it's the right thing or not? I mean, here's the honest-to-goodness truth. I try to be friends with everybody. And I listen to everybody. To me, everyone's thoughts and opinions are valid, and everyone deserves to be heard out. And yet, everyone's thoughts and opinions can also be debated. Do any of us really know what the truth is? Yeah, we think we do... but does anyone really KNOW?

I guess that's my problem. I want to know the truth. And I don't think there's really any way of figuring out for sure exactly what that is. I think that one thing I do believe is this post I made a while back, about how we're all created in the image of God. That's why I see everyone's opinions as being valid, and even valuable. Now, occasionally, I do run into some people who I think are just missing the point, and I tend to not really care as much about their opinion, but overall, I think everyone's got some good thoughts that are worth listening to. So I listen to everyone. Hopefully, that helps other people as well as myself, because I get to hear something new, and they get listened to... validation that someone values their thoughts.

So, in my listening to everyone, sometimes I run into things and people that make me wonder if being a Christian really is the right path to take. I start doubting God and Jesus and all of the beliefs I've held on to. And, well, honestly, enough people that I respect doubt them to make me wonder if they are correct. I think really what it comes down to, why I continue to hold my beliefs, is that there's this part of me, deep inside that just somehow knows that my core beliefs about God and Jesus are true. I can't get away from that. It's a part of me that is just there and will always be there, I think. If I was to "turn away from God", so to speak, I would be haunted by the feeling that I was living a lie. And to me that would be worse than the journey for truth that I find myself on now. So I continue on that journey. And until something strong enough to shake away that feeling that's in there so deep comes along... I'll still say that I'm a Christian. And I'll still adhere to those core beliefs.

Ok, enough of the theology discussion. Here are the updates.

Today started my first day of getting up earlier to go work out every weekday morning. I joined Cardinal Fitness, and I'm meeting a co-worker there every morning at 6:00 am(?!) to do all that fun cardio and weight stuff. I really do think I like Cardinal, though. The atmosphere seems nice there. It's a nice gym, with plenty of cardio equipment and weights. Better stuff than they have at my apartment complex "fitness center", that's for sure. So hopefully this will pan out and I'll lose those 20 pounds or so I've been wanting to lose for the last few years. Now I just need to start eating better...

So, uh, Saturday night I actually had a date. It's been a while since I did that. Well, here and there I've had a few, nothing serious, and some I've even not really been for sure whether or not they WERE dates. (Wow... "even not really been for sure". Yeah, cuz that's good grammar.) Anyway... I do know this was a date, because we both agreed it was. And it was fun... dinner, dancing, walking around Fountain Square, and then going out for coffee. Nothing serious, because I don't think either of us are too sure about that right now. But it was just fun.

My philosophy on dating has gone back and forth so many times, it's crazy. I think I used to base it a lot on what other people thought. I would find someone who I really respected their philosophy on dating and it sounded good to me, so I adopted it for myself. Now I think I'm learning that it really just comes down to winging it. If you're so strict on what you think about dating, and the "right" way to do it, you might miss out on something really good just because it doesn't fit exactly into how you think dating and relationships should go. But I still respect and admire those that have hard-core philosophies on how they want to do it. They're stronger people than me.

Well, I've reached that point in the semester where I turn into a slacker again. It's always been that I start off really good... reading all the chapters, etc. And then I get lazy and busy and just start doing the bare minimum at the last possible minute. Yep, just 15 pieces of flare. I've reached that point again. So tonight I will be winging it trying to figure out how to create a valid XSD for an XML document. And right now I'm not even sure what an XSD document looks like. Oh well, just an excuse to kick those computer geek skills into overdrive, right?

Wow... I just went ALL over the place with this, didn't I? Well, congratulations if you made it this far. You get a gold star.