Safe, logical, politically correct, and socially acceptable

I had a really interesting conversation with a friend the other day. (No, not Maurice... although I know it's easy to get confused seeing as how he is commonly referred to as "a friend" on people's blogs.) I've been thinking about some of the things that we talked about ever since.

One thing my friend brought up was how so much of what we do is motivated out of fear. For example, why do we maintain jobs? I'd say a big part of it is fear of what will happen if we don't have the money to pay our bills. Why do I do homework? Fear of not getting good grades in school, or maybe it's fear of not graduating. Why do we lock our doors? Fear of someone getting in that we don't want in. Why do we live in the neighborhoods we live in? For a lot of people, it's fear of the people that live in the other neighborhoods. Guys? Fear of commitment, fear of wrong choices. Girls? Fear of what the guys (and even other girls) think of us. Fear abounds.

Ok, so fear may not be the motivating factor in all of these things. But I venture to say that it is *a* factor in all of them. One that half the time we don't even realize is there. I can't say that I really thought I was afraid of much. But when I examine my life and the choices I make, I realize I have a lot of fears. Not the least of which is not being loved. Doesn't everyone have that fear? Fear that no one will love them? Oh, and don't forget the ever present fear of what other people think of me. Yeah, that one can be pretty paralyzing at times.

Another thing we talked about in this conversation was how much of the time people put on social graces. How often do we not say what's really on our minds or what we're really feeling because we're so used to how we're *supposed* to do things? Lauren had a good example of this, with her blog on how people always ask "how are you?". We're supposed to ask that, supposed to give that illusion that we really care how people are. I think sometimes we honestly just don't really care, but we ask this because, well, it makes it look like we're a good person and that we do. And then sometimes we really do care, and we ask this because it's a quick, easy way to express that. Yeah, we're pretty lazy and selfish sometimes.

We do things like wear a suit to an interview, because we're "supposed to". We don't fart or burp in public, because we're not "supposed to". We ask "how are you?", because we're "supposed to". We talk about the weather, because we're "supposed to". We act like nothing's wrong, because we're "supposed to". Support the illusion, right? Say the politically correct, socially acceptable thing. That's what we're "supposed to" do. Make sure that everyone sees the perfect you, the you that's got it all together. But not the real you. Not the messy you.

Don't live in fear. And be real. That's all I got.