Why I need downtime

So Wednesday night was a good reminder to me of why I try very hard to never take on too much. Or even close to too much. If I'm taking full-time classes, I only work part-time. If I'm working full-time, I only take classes part-time. And in both of those cases, if I'm doing anything full-time along with something else part-time, I don't like to allow myself to make any additional commitments. Some people can do this, and are fine with it. And they even find time for themselves and their friends and sometimes even a social life. That's awesome. More power to them. But it's not for me.

You see, I suck at time management. If I were better at it, maybe I could be like one of those other people. But I'm not. And I realize that and accept it. Sometimes I even try to do better at it. But I usually suck at that too.

So back to tonight. I left work early today to head down to campus to both drop off a work report about my internship to the guy I needed to turn it in to, and to attend an ACM Club meeting, of which I am the vice-president. (Um, yeah... back to what I said earlier about additional commitments? Well, thankfully, ACM doesn't really take up much time at all. And I never said that I DIDN'T allow myself additional commitments... just that I don't like to. Anyway, moving on.) After the meeting was over, I chatted a bit with the other officers and the faculty advisor for the club (who also happens to be the person who basically got me my job). I'm not usually on campus during the week to see or talk to them much, so it was nice to catch up a bit.

After that, I called a couple of friends to see what they were up to, and both ended up being busy. I really didn't feel like going home yet, but I almost did that, for lack of something better to do. I changed my mind, however, and since I had a copy of Brian McLaren's A Generous Orthodoxy with me, I decided to head to the Starbucks by campus and do a bit of reading and people-watching.

I'd forgotten how much I love doing things like this. Hanging out in a public place reading and people-watching has got to be one of my favorite activities. I tend to spend a lot of time with friends, but I also need plenty of "me" time. I think the problem with that comes in the fact that "me" time or not, I'm still a social person and very much enjoy being around people. Hanging out at Starschmucks or Barnes & Noble reading gives me the best of both worlds. AND it gives me coffee. What more could I possibly want?

I think I tend to find the most peace in my life by appreciating and indulging in the simple pleasures it has to offer. Among those pleasures I would include nighttime, coffee/chai, coffee shops, books, random conversations with people I don't know, blustery days/nights, my balcony, and Coldplay. I think these things have contributed a lot towards my peace of mind in the last week or two.

Some people seem to pack so many things into their lives that they must miss out on these kinds of things. They're too busy trying to get everything done. With my time management skills (or lack thereof), I have enough trouble trying to get everything done even when I allow myself plenty of downtime. I know I could push myself harder and get more done. But maybe what's really important is the stuff I AM getting done.

"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." --Bertrand Russell