I cannot be everything to everyone

So I guess I'm picking up where I left off with the last blog entry... love and serve the world. What does that mean? This past weekend started off with me in a funk. And I'm not even sure entirely why. I do know that part of what I was feeling had to do with the people around me. An example would be of how I felt like I'd been letting my "dad" down a lot recently. Didn't go to USOM (United States of Mind - open mic poetry) with him last week, almost slept through the movie I was supposed to go see with him Friday night... etc, etc. That's just one example. I can think of at least a few other instances in my life lately where I've had a hard time just figuring out the best way to love and serve others, let alone actually doing it.

Well, unfortunately for her, my "sister" happened to start up an IM conversation with me while I was in this funk. I had a hard time explaining to her what was wrong, but she (being the extremely wise little sis that she is) said some things that struck a few chords with me. One of those things was that I seem to beat myself up for "trying to be everything to everyone". That phrase, right there... "trying to be everything to everyone"... helped me understand more about myself lately. See, I think I've gotten confused. I think I've confused "loving and serving the world" with "trying to be everything to everyone". I try to be a good daughter, a good friend, a good student, a good co-worker... and so on. In fact, I think I try more than to just be good at those things. I think there's even a part of me that tries to be the *perfect* daughter, friend, student, and co-worker. Can you say "obviously setting yourself up for failure"?

Last night we read something that expounded on this a bit for me. In fact, the whole conversation at our church gathering last night was helpful. I'm not so sure it's anything that I haven't really heard before, but it was a much-needed reminder, by far. Here's what we read:

It helps, now and then, to step back and take a long view.
The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision.We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work.
Nothing we do is complete, which is a way of saying that the kingdom always lies beyond us.
No statement says all that could be said.
No prayer fully expresses our faith.
No confession brings perfection.
No pastoral visit brings wholeness.
No program accomplishes the church’s mission.
No set of goals and objectives includes everything.
This is what we are about.
We plant the seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces far beyond our capabilities.
We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something, and to do it very well. It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, and opportunity for the Lord’s grace to enter and do the rest.
We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.
We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own.

We also practiced a discipline last night, one that I think I might pick up on my own as well... just sitting in silence. We really rarely allow much silence into our lives, instead always filling it up with busyness and talking. For me, the silence brought to mind thoughts of what it really means to love and serve the world, since lately I instead seem to be getting this confused with being everything to everyone. Now, I didn't get to expound on it much in just the five minutes of silence we practiced, as I believe that love alone embodies so much that it can probably never be completely expounded on or defined. But where does it begin, even? What's a good first step? What does it mean to love someone?

Now, just to clarify, I'm not really talking about the concept of being "in love". I do think that being in love includes loving that person, and that sometimes loving someone can lead to falling in love with them. But that's not really what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the mission of loving and serving the world, and what the "love" part of that means.

So after giving it some thought, I came to this conclusion. The first step in loving someone is letting them be who they are. Sounds simple, right? Well, I don't think we're all that good at it. At least I'm not. I think too often we expect people to be just like us. To think like us, talk like us, act like us, and on and on. I think when we stop expecting people to be like us, and begin to let them be who they are, that's the first step to truly loving them. We listen to them, appreciate their quirks, and see the value they bring to the world. I think there's a reason that a lot of times you hear the words "love" and "acceptance" used together.

And it's not about being everything to everybody, either. There's a flipside to this concept as well. If we're to "love our neighbor as ourself", then shouldn't we love ourselves first? And doesn't that mean applying that very same principle to ourselves? Just as I need to love people by letting them be who they are, I need to love myself by letting me be who I am. I need to stop expecting me to be like someone else, and appreciate myself for who I am. I need to appreciate my quirks and see the value that *I* bring to the world. Sound familiar?

I think there's something to be said about this "worker vs master builder" concept. The worker doesn't try to do all the work himself, because he knows that's not his job. He knows that he has a job, but that so do all the other workers. He also knows it's not his responsibility to make sure that the end result gets completed. That's the job of the master builder. The master builder even fills in the gaps that the worker missed, as well as fixes the worker's mistakes. And in the end, who gets the credit for the end result? The master builder. As well it should be, because he is indeed the master of his craft.

Lord, let me be a better worker... and leave the role of master builder up to you.